Step Ten – Taking Responsibility

Step Ten – Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Although Step Ten addresses taking continual inventory and admitting our wrongs, it also guides us into living a more meaningful and purposeful life. As we become consciously aware of our attitudes and behaviors, we become more mindful of how we feel about others, and how we interact with them. More importantly, we grow in awareness of our inner thought processes and how they ultimately make us feel about ourselves. The more we stay out of judgment of others and just concern ourselves with our own shortcomings, the better we feel. We free ourselves from the bondage of codependency.

If we learn how to manage our inner dialog, we gain an understanding and appreciation for our new way of life. We see how much we’ve grown and changed and with this realization, it’s hard to go back to the way we were.  We raise our expectations of ourselves for better character and conduct. Before working the steps, we may have been able to justify doing or saying the wrong thing, but we can’t do that anymore without feeling the gut punch. It’s uncomfortable to judge or hurt anyone. Our moral compass is kicking in. If others are bullying, complaining, or gossiping, we don’t have to go along with the herd. Others’ behavior never justifies ours.  We stand on our own and choose not to get sucked into any potential drama around us. 

There will be moments when we forget ourselves and slip up. Judgment creeps in, or we get angry at someone. We might even complain to others to get them on our bandwagon. If we catch it before it gains momentum, we can usually stop the negativity rather quickly. We immediately admit we made a mistake and apologize or fix it if we can. Admitting we were wrong becomes much easier after detaching the emotions from the action. Often, where we get stuck is in thinking we know what the other person is thinking or thinks of us, which is usually not accurate, and we react based on incorrect information. If we let that go all together, and know that we really don’t know what anyone thinks, we have nothing to base our judgment on. Letting go of this need to judge is a huge relief and makes it easier for us to behave well. Most people want to be good. We must cut them, and ourselves, some slack. We’re all doing the best we can with the information that’s available.  

Step Eleven – Sought God, and His Will for Us