Step One – Admission to Powerlessness

STEP 1:  We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (drugs, emotions, relationships, etc.) and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step one is the beginning of our inner journey and one that we need to take if we:

1. Feel Resentment toward, or compare ourselves to, others

2. Have knee-jerk reactions to situations or circumstances ranging from usually expecting negative outcomes to experiencing uncontrollable rage

3. Feel the need to manipulate others to get what we want, or to always seek approval or recognition

4. Are frequently looking for negative circumstances, opportunities to be offended, or to blame or diminish others

5. Have an overwhelming desire for a go-to substance or behavior as a means of feeling relief or escape, such as alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, over-working, over-committing, etc.

6. Unable to receive healthy criticism or a difference of opinion

7. Look to others to fulfill our need for love and acceptance

8. Have the need to prove we are superior to others, or put others down to feel better

9. Often feel powerless, hopeless, underserving, misunderstood, disconnected, victimized, etc.

10. Have a strong attachment to anything outside of ourselves as a means of identifying who we are

This is not an exhaustive list. Looking for things outside of ourselves to make us feel happy or whole, or to give us our identity, can be problematic. As I touched on in my beginning post about the Twelve Step program, we received information in our early years that shaped our beliefs about the world and about ourselves that may or may not have been helpful to us. If we were continuously told as children that we didn’t deserve something, that money doesn’t grow on trees, or that life is hard, we may go through our adult lives feeling unworthy, or struggling to get ahead. Conversely, if our parents gave us whatever we wanted to keep us quiet, rather than spend time with us, we may find ourselves constantly needing to buy things to satisfy our need for fulfillment or love. If we were not allowed to express or share our feelings as children, we may have a difficult time feeling that we fit in as adults and are unable to identify or deal with our emotions. These situations can become overwhelming and for some, paralyzing. In any case, we are usually looking outside of ourselves for something to make us feel better about who we are.

Step One is a starting point in our recovery from past programming which has left us in a world that is reflecting back to us the confused version of ourselves. We see the world through our own eyes and if our perception is hurting us, the world can be a scary place. Collectively, we are creating much of what we would not want in our experience. We are told that this is reality, and we are expected to go along with it. For the most part, we do. We don’t like it, or perhaps we don’t like us, so we are continually fighting against the things we don’t like. Have we affected the world on a broad scale with all of us buying into the same confused paradigm? And where do we begin to make the shift? We each must go within for our own answers.

Step Two – Came to Believe